I know I may come across as Billy No-mates, but quite hon­estly I have never felt more like a leper than right now.

I’m on a two-day train­ing course, so I’m here on my own in that Lon­don and after book­ing to see a film I find myself with a couple of hours to kill. Good job really, as it seems that if you are din­ing alone you might as well have two heads!

I even­tu­ally find a Pizza Hut — I like pizza and didn’t want any­thing that would ruin the next day — after wan­der­ing aim­lessly around the Cov­ent Garden area. I walk in and am promptly ignored — a party of four walk in two minutes later and are given a table straight away!

When I’m even­tu­ally noticed clutch­ing my menu in anti­cip­a­tion of atten­tion, I’m parked right at the back of the place and left to read the menu from cover to cover — again.

It may be my hun­ger get­ting the best of my mood, but surely I’m a quick turn-around? I’m not going to sit here for hours talk­ing to myself or any­thing — I’m going to order, eat, pay and leave. Simples!

Finally a waiter struggles through the forest of tables and takes my order — be quiet oh rum­bling tummy, your time will soon come.